Mixed Signals · No. 21

What does “omg STOP” mean?

From Ari, a friend, after you sent five messages in a row about your crush

omg STOP

It could mean

PorcupineI’d read it a few ways:

Annoyed, and wanting you to stop
Excited, and wanting more
Embarrassed for you

Nobody could know from the words alone.

What was going on

Ari was screaming with excitement and wanted every detail.

This message and its story are made up. Real messages don’t come with the story.

Ask before you answer

Text loses tone, so a short message can read harsher, or softer, than it was meant. Before you answer, ask what they meant. That’s Check before assuming, one of the principles Porcupine is built on.

What research says

In five experiments, people overestimated how well their tone (sarcasm, seriousness, anger) came across over email. They “heard” the tone they meant, and found it hard to imagine reading the message without it.

Kruger, J., Epley, N., Parker, J., & Ng, Z.-W. (2005). Egocentrism over e-mail: Can we communicate as well as we think? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89(6), 925–936.

Got a real text like this? Run a Quills Check.

Paste it. I’ll show you a few ways it could be read, and what you could ask instead of guessing. Writing your own? Switch to “I’m sending it” and I’ll show you if the quills are up.

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Find the words with Porcupine

The Quills Check helps with one text. Porcupine helps with the whole conversation, from what you ask through their reply. It’s coming soon, and we’ll let you know when it’s ready.

Get early access Play today’s message

Every message and story in Mixed Signals is made up.