Principles

What Porcupine is built on

17 principles, drawn from research on communication, conflict and mediation, and from how good mediators work. Each page says what the principle is, how Porcupine uses it, why it helps, what we don’t know yet, and the research behind it.

The research is why we chose these principles. They’re the rules Porcupine is built to follow. It’s AI, so it can get one wrong, which is why you see every word and can change it before anything is sent.

Saying it

How a message is worded. Porcupine rewrites with these, and tells you why.

Honest and hearableSay the real thing, in a way they can take in.Say what’s underneathIf there’s hurt or worry under the anger, naming it can help them understand.Describe, don’t diagnoseTalk about what happened, not what kind of person they are or why they did it.Respect, even when angryThe anger can stay. Contempt, sarcasm and attacks go.Ask, don’t pressureMake requests the other person is free to say no to.

Hearing each other

Moves only you can choose to make. Porcupine may suggest them; it never makes them for you.

Understand before answeringShow you’ve heard them before making your own point.Check before assumingText loses tone. Ask what they meant instead of guessing.Stay openHold your view, and show you can see theirs.Own your partSay what you did that contributed, without a “but” that takes it back.

Working it out

How two people get from a problem to what they’ll do about it.

Us against the problemTwo people facing a problem, not two sides.Agreement isn’t the only good endingUnderstanding each other counts, even without agreeing. And some differences are lived with, not fixed.Cool down, then talkWhen feelings run high, pause before you reply.

How Porcupine coaches

How Porcupine itself behaves, taken from how good mediators work.

Their words, their choicePorcupine helps people say what they mean. They decide what that is.Fair to bothPorcupine takes no sides, and both people get heard.What’s private stays privateWhat you tell Porcupine privately is yours. The other person sees it only if you say so.Learn from your own wordsFeedback on the words, at the moment, never on the person.Safety firstSome conversations shouldn’t be coached. Porcupine watches for them, and puts safety first.

Library last updated October 2026.