Mixed Signals · No. 23

What does “I’m fine” mean?

From Jesse, your partner, after an argument at dinner

I’m fine.

It could mean

PorcupineI’d read it a few ways:

Fine, really
Hurt, and wanting you to come find them
Angry, and wanting space

Nobody could know from the words alone.

What was going on

The story behind this one appears here once the week to play it is over. Play it on Mixed Signals to see it now.

Ask before you answer

Text loses tone, so a short message can read harsher, or softer, than it was meant. Before you answer, ask what they meant. That’s Check before assuming, one of the principles Porcupine is built on.

What research says

In an experiment, college students rated one-word text replies like “Okay” and “Sure” as less sincere when they ended with a period. The same replies in handwritten notes weren’t affected.

Gunraj, D. N., Drumm-Hewitt, A. M., Dashow, E. M., Upadhyay, S. S. N., & Klin, C. M. (2016). Texting insincerely: The role of the period in text messaging. Computers in Human Behavior, 55, 1067–1075.

Got a real text like this? Run a Quills Check.

Paste it. I’ll show you a few ways it could be read, and what you could ask instead of guessing. Writing your own? Switch to “I’m sending it” and I’ll show you if the quills are up.

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Find the words with Porcupine

The Quills Check helps with one text. Porcupine helps with the whole conversation, from what you ask through their reply. It’s coming soon, and we’ll let you know when it’s ready.

Get early access Play today’s message

Every message and story in Mixed Signals is made up.