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Guide · As the provider
How to stop working with a client
Not every client is the right fit. Here’s how to part ways professionally.
Check your agreements
Look at any contract or notice period, and finish what you’ve committed to.
Tell them directly
A clear end date is kinder than slowly being unavailable.
Honest and hearable ›What you might want to sayI’m just really busy lately, so I might not be able to fit you in anymore… maybe…
Porcupine · Observation, feeling, need, request“Really busy… maybe…” fades out instead of ending. March 31, with notice, is clear.
What might land betterI’ve decided to stop taking appointments with you after March 31. I wanted to give you plenty of notice.
Keep the reason short and kind
One kind sentence is enough. You don’t owe a list of complaints.
Describe, don’t diagnose ›What you might want to sayHonestly, you’re exhausting to work with.
Porcupine · No sarcasm, insults or contempt“Exhausting to work with” is a verdict on them. “Not the best fit for what you need” is kind, and true.
What might land betterI don’t think I’m the best fit for what you need.
Help with the handoff
Suggest someone else, or send their files or history.
Us against the problem ›What you might want to sayGood luck finding someone.
Porcupine · Make it a shared problem“Good luck finding someone” is a parting shot. Recommending a few people, and sending your notes, helps them land.
What might land betterI’m happy to recommend a few people, and I’ll send your notes.
Settle anything outstanding
Final invoices, refunds for prepaid sessions, keys returned.
What you might want to sayWe’ll sort out the money later.
Porcupine · A clear, doable request“Later” leaves the money loose. A final invoice and a refund for the prepaid sessions settle it.
What might land betterI’ll send a final invoice, and refund the two sessions you prepaid.
Stay professional
If they’re upset, you can acknowledge it and still hold your decision.
Respect, even when angry ›What you might want to sayThis is exactly why I’m ending it.
Porcupine · Validate the feeling“This is exactly why” turns their upset into proof. Acknowledging it, and keeping your decision, ends it professionally.
What might land betterI understand this is disappointing. My decision is final, and I want to make the handoff easy.
The common mistake
Slowly becoming unavailable
Saying you’re fully booked, again and again, can feel easier than ending it. But they keep asking, and you keep inventing reasons. One clear message is kinder, and ends it cleanly.
Honest and hearable ›If it doesn’t go the way you hoped
What they might say, and what you could say back.
If they sayWhat did I do wrong?
You could sayIt’s not something I need to go into. I think someone else would be a better fit, and I’d like to help you find them.
If they sayCan we give it one more try?
You could sayI appreciate that. I’ve decided, and I want to make the handoff easy.
If they sayI’ll leave a bad review.
You could sayI’m sorry you feel that way. I’ll still send your files and a final invoice by Friday.
Putting it together
The whole message, before and after.
What you might want to sayI’m just really busy lately, so I might not be able to fit you in anymore… maybe…
Porcupine · Observation, feeling, need, requestA clear end date, a short kind reason and help finding someone new. It’s a firm decision, handled with care.
What might land betterI’ve decided to stop taking appointments with you after March 31. I wanted to give you plenty of notice. I don’t think I’m the best fit for what you need, and I’m happy to recommend a few people. I’ll send your notes so they have them.
Run a Quills Check on yours
Write what you want to say, however it comes out. I’ll show you if the quills are up, and a version with them down.
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Common questions
Do I have to give a reason?
A short, kind one helps, but you don’t owe a list of complaints.
What if they ask for another chance?
You can thank them and keep your decision: “I appreciate that. I’ve decided, and I want to make the handoff easy.”
Should I tell them in person or in writing?
Writing is clear and gives you both a record. A call first can be kind for a long-time client.
Know someone this would help?
Send them this guide. The link shows its title and one of its examples.
Find the words with Porcupine
PorcupineIf they ask why, or push back, I’ll help you answer clearly and keep it kind.
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Related guides
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- How to handle a client who cancels at the last minuteAs the provider
- How to ask a client for a review or referralAs the provider
Guides are general information, not legal, financial or professional advice. If you’re afraid of how someone might react, put your safety first and talk to someone you trust (Safety first).