What’s Your Conflict Style? › The Case Maker and the Deal Maker
Conflict styles, together
The Case Maker and the Deal Maker
One wants to get it right. The other wants to get it done. An offer can arrive before the case is finished.
A free quiz: pick what you’d really do in 12 everyday moments. About 3 minutes.
Where it works
Both stick to the practical. Facts get laid out, an offer gets made and things move.
Where it trips
A split can feel like skipping the point to someone who isn’t done. And a list of reasons can feel like a delay to someone who’s ready to settle.
How each can be misread
Case MakerThere’s one more thing.
- Can mean
- I’m not done yet.
- Can read as
- You won’t let it go.
Deal MakerLet’s go halfway.
- Can mean
- I want this to be fair.
- Can read as
- Your facts don’t matter.
How it can go
A shared bill that came in high
Case MakerYou ran the heat all month. Here’s the bill.
Deal MakerLet’s go halfway and move on.
Case MakerThat’s not the point. Look at the dates.
PorcupineThe offer may have been meant as fair. The dates may have been about more than money. Neither one has said yet what they want from this.
Why it helps: Check before assuming › Free tool · What does this text mean?Got a message like this?Paste it in to see a few ways it could be read, and what you could say back. We don’t save it.Check a textOne thing each can try
The Case Maker
Say what you want the facts to do.
I don’t need you to pay more. I want us to agree on the heat.
Why it helps: Honest and hearable ›The Deal Maker
Before you offer, ask what would feel fair.
What would make this feel fair to you?
Why it helps: Understand before answering ›After a fight
Style is only half of it. Two people can want different things afterward: one wants to talk tonight, and the other needs a day. Neither is wrong. Say it out loud: “Here’s what I need after a fight. What do you need?”
Know a pair like this?
What’s Your Conflict Style?
Pick what you’d really do in twelve everyday moments, and see your style, how you come back from it and one thing to try.
Find your conflict styleMore on these styles
- The Case MakerYou have your facts straight, and you came prepared.
- The Deal MakerYou’d rather both get something than argue all night.
- The seven conflict stylesSeven ways people handle a disagreement, and five ways they come back from it.
No style is the best one: each works sometimes and trips sometimes, and yours may change with the person and the day. The quiz is for fun and conversation. It isn’t a scientific test, and it isn’t therapy, counseling or professional advice. Porcupine made up these styles and ways back, drawing loosely on common ideas about conflict, and nobody has tested them. They describe what people do in a disagreement, not who they are or how a relationship is going. If you’re afraid of how someone might react, a page like this isn’t enough: put your safety first and talk to someone you trust (Safety first).