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Guide · As the client
How to tell your cleaner or dog walker what you’d like done differently
It’s awkward to correct someone you see every week. Here’s how to do it kindly.
Start with what’s going well
If you’re happy overall, say so. It makes the rest easier to hear.
Us against the problem ›What you might want to saySo, a few issues…
Porcupine · Say what you appreciate“A few issues…” starts with a list. Thanks, and the floors, start with what’s working.
What might land betterThanks so much. The floors always look great.
Be specific
Name the task, not a general impression.
Describe, don’t diagnose ›What you might want to sayThe place still looks kind of dirty after you leave.
Porcupine · A clear, doable request“Kind of dirty” leaves them guessing where to look. The counters and the stovetop tell them.
What might land betterCould you spend a little more time on the kitchen counters and the stovetop? Those matter most to me.
Ask, don’t criticize
A request leaves room for them to say what’s possible in the time they have.
Ask, don’t pressure ›What you might want to sayYou keep forgetting the back door.
Porcupine · Skip “always” and “never”“You keep forgetting” makes it a pattern. Asking to lock the back door after each walk is a simple request.
What might land betterCould you make sure the back door is locked after the walk?
Check what’s realistic
Ask if the time or price allows for it. They may need more time, or suggest a trade-off.
Understand before answering ›What you might want to sayJust fit it in.
Porcupine · Ask real questions“Just fit it in” assumes there’s time. Asking, or adding half an hour, makes it fair.
What might land betterDoes that fit in the time you have, or should we add half an hour?
Write it down
A short note or message helps, especially if different people come.
Say thanks when you notice
A quick “The kitchen looks great” shows the change mattered.
Us against the problem ›
The common mistake
Hinting with notes and sighs
Leaving pointed notes, or redoing the work where they’ll see it, can feel gentler, but it’s easy to miss or take the wrong way. A short, direct request works better.
Honest and hearable ›If it doesn’t go the way you hoped
What they might say, and what you could say back.
If they sayI don’t have time for all that.
You could sayThat makes sense. Could we swap something, like skipping the windows, for the stovetop?
If they sayNo one’s complained before.
You could sayI’m glad. It’s just what matters most to me.
If they sayThat would cost more.
You could sayOkay. How much more for an extra half hour?
Putting it together
The whole message, before and after.
What you might want to sayThe place still looks kind of dirty after you leave.
Porcupine · Say what you appreciateThanks, what’s going well, the one thing you’d like and a check on time. It’s clear about the change, and kind about their work.
What might land betterThanks so much for all your work. The floors always look great. Could you spend a little more time on the kitchen counters and the stovetop? Those matter most to me. Does that fit in the time you have?
Run a Quills Check on yours
Write what you want to say, however it comes out. I’ll show you if the quills are up, and a version with them down.
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Common questions
What if I feel awkward correcting someone?
Start with what’s going well, and keep it to one or two tasks. Most people would rather know what you’d like.
Should I say it in person or by text?
Whatever you usually use. A text can be easier, and gives them something to refer back to.
What if it still isn’t right?
Mention it again, kindly and specifically. If it still doesn’t work, it’s okay to find someone else.
Know someone this would help?
Send them this guide. The link shows its title and one of its examples.
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Guides are general information, not legal, financial or professional advice. If you’re afraid of how someone might react, put your safety first and talk to someone you trust (Safety first).