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Guide · Managers and employees
How to tell your manager you made a mistake
The sooner they hear it from you, the easier it is to fix. Here’s how to say it.
Tell them early
Before they hear it from someone else, or find it themselves. The sooner they know, the more ways there are to fix it.
Honest and hearable ›What you might want to sayHey, quick thing, nothing urgent, can we chat sometime this week?
Porcupine · Own your part“Nothing urgent” hides something that is. Asking for five minutes today, and saying why, lets them hear it from you first.
What might land betterDo you have five minutes today? I made a mistake on the client file, and I want you to hear it from me.
Say what happened plainly
Name the mistake as yours, without a cloud of qualifiers. How it happened can come after.
Own your part ›What you might want to saySo, um, something kind of weird happened with the client file, and I’m not totally sure how, but…
Porcupine · Own your part“Not totally sure how, but…” keeps it vague. “I sent the client last month’s numbers by mistake” says exactly what happened.
What might land betterI sent the client last month’s numbers by mistake. I caught it this morning.
Explain the impact
Who it affects, and how much. Being exact helps them decide what to do, and keeps it from sounding bigger or smaller than it is.
Describe, don’t diagnose ›What you might want to sayIt’s probably not a big deal?
Porcupine · Explain the impact“Probably not a big deal?” guesses at the size. Four percent, and nothing invoiced yet, tells them exactly how big it is.
What might land betterThe client saw totals about 4% lower than the real ones. Nothing has been invoiced yet.
Come with a fix
“I’ve already sent the right file and a note to the client,” or a plan for what you’ll do next. If you haven’t fixed it yet, say what you’d suggest, and ask what they think.
Us against the problem ›Skip the long apology
One clear apology is enough. Over-apologizing leaves them reassuring you.
Own your part ›What you might want to sayI’m so, so sorry, I feel terrible, I can’t believe I did this…
Porcupine · Ask without guilt or leverage“I feel terrible” turns the talk to how you feel. One line owns it and leaves room for the fix.
What might land betterI’m sorry, that was my mistake.
Say what you’ll do differently
Name the one change that keeps it from happening again: “From now on, I’ll double-check attachments before sending anything to clients.”
Honest and hearable ›If they’re frustrated
Let them react, and say back what you heard. Then get back to the fix.
Understand before answering ›
The common mistake
Explaining before owning it
Starting with how busy you were, or what the system did, can sound like an excuse even when it’s true. Say what happened first. The context can come after, if they ask.
What you might want to sayWell, the system was down all morning, and I had three deadlines, so when I sent the file…
Porcupine · Own your partOpening with the system and the deadlines puts the reasons ahead of the mistake. “I sent the client the wrong file” comes first here, then the fix.
What might land betterI sent the client the wrong file. Here’s what I’ve done to fix it.
If it doesn’t go the way you hoped
What they might say, and what you could say back.
If they sayHow did this happen?
You could sayI attached last month’s file and didn’t check before sending. I’ve added that check, so it won’t happen again.
If they sayThis is a real problem.
You could sayI know. What else would help right now? I can call the client myself, if that’s useful.
If they sayLet me think about how to handle the client.
You could sayOf course. I’m around all afternoon if you need anything from me.
Putting it together
The whole message, before and after.
What you might want to saySo, um, something kind of weird happened with the client file and I’m not totally sure how, but I think maybe the wrong numbers went out? I’m so sorry.
Porcupine · Own your part“Something kind of weird happened” keeps the mistake at a distance. What you did, the impact, the fix and how you’ll prevent it say it all, and say it’s yours.
What might land betterI sent the client last month’s numbers by mistake. I caught it this morning. They saw totals about 4% lower, and nothing has been invoiced yet. I’ve already sent the right file and a note to the client. I’m sorry, that was my mistake. From now on, I’ll double-check attachments before sending anything to clients.
Run a Quills Check on yours
Write what you want to say to your coworker, however it comes out. I’ll show you if the quills are up, and a version with them down.
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Common questions
Should I tell them in person or in writing?
In person or on a call for anything serious, so they can ask questions. Then follow up in writing with what happened and the fix.
What if someone else was partly to blame?
Own your part first. If others were involved, describe what happened without pointing fingers, and leave it to your manager to follow up.
Will this count against me?
No one can promise it won’t. Telling them early, with a fix, gives you the best chance to show how you handle problems.
Know someone this would help?
Send them this guide. The link shows its title and one of its examples.
Find the words with Porcupine
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Guides are general information, not legal, financial or professional advice. If you’re afraid of how someone might react, put your safety first and talk to someone you trust (Safety first).